Unravelling and weaving, sometimes simultaneously

Posts tagged ‘contemplation’

Player

How meta is the term for men

who think that conjugation

is a game to play, a score, a win,

no sense of the relation.

But I prefer to think instead

they are pianos in their heads

their stories circular, full of holes,

the same sour notes played

in their rolls;

and in anachronistic style

they strut, and preen, and leer their smiles,

a wooden stand-up, wound and played

by the very system that gets them laid.

(c) RCGA 2018

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Riesling and Raisinets

The sound of bombs is thunder;

and as a storm front passes

I am medicating my nerves

with chocolate-covered raisins

and wine,

to distract myself from the thrumming rain

on the rooftop,

and the steady pinging of tweets

susurrating Syria.

The cats, of course, are ignorant,

and blissful, in that state,

spotlight eyes blinking slowly,

so that I imagine, for now,

in my grape and cacao cloud,

that they represent the public mind,

concerned only for their dinner

and a dark spot to nap,

somnambulant, belly-full of false advertising,

unaware of any dogs at all

outside their immediate purr-view,

much less ones that are wagged

by their own tails.

(c) RCGA, 2018

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Tornado Warning

I have been out of pocket for a while; the writing Muse has been hibernating, I’ve had the flu twice and a few other assorted winter maladies. I am brainsore, even as the end of Lent approaches, and Alleluia is dusted off from its forty days in retirement. Spring emerges early here, hectic and wet, and a geriatric cat came to live with the familiar and I following the passing of her person. Somehow I keep breathing, and talking to ghosts, staring into the centers of flowers and exorcising demons by exercising my wrists with paintbrushes. My steam-powered heart keeps thumping, and the bellows of my lungs heave with regularity. I assume this means I am still alive, whatever the reports have been to the contrary.

Last night there was a strange dog

in the neighborhood,

and frightened by the midnight train,

or thunder,

he bayed relentlessly against the thud and boom,

then fell silent at the sound

of the emergency god’s paternal voice

proclaiming all was well.

This morning,

heavy-headed,

I wondered at his smothered frenzy,

at how easily quiescent the most feral falls

listening to father.

In the daylight those that huddled down

pretended nothing happened;

a crow displayed glistening wings to the sun

high in a budding treetop,

and dropped a broken strand of plastic beads

onto the muddy sidewalk.

 

RCGA 2018

Postcard from the Azores

Another country heard from:

hydrangeas from a distant shore.

The island of my husband’s family

cheerfully inscribed with a message

from a mutual friend

tugs at my nostalgia for his long fingers

holding up the camera,

his drawl coaxing me to smile for him,

then turning to a flower, closing in;

both subject to his fascination

enclosed in pixels just as much as mind,

his warm regard upon my face

a swathe of summer sun

and the scent of long-faded blossoms

somehow brushes across me

whispering Azores.

(c) RCGA 2017

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Rain Day

The humidity is high
a damp grey curtain
made of wool
that clings and weighs me down
each time I venture out

Yet the birds sing
repetitive echoes in the trees
and somewhere
a dog barks once
punctuation to the cicadas
and crickets
and small frogs calling
for rain to come

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(c) RCGA 2016

Dear Janet

Dear Janet:
Writing you on the other side
to say that
I wish I could lie on your table again
and have you tell me
the same thing
you did before:

Remember a time that you failed.

I was young then, Janet
I was so green and full of hubris
I did not want to fail
and had worked hard
not to ever be seen as a failure

Pride.
Pride in the spring
before the long summer
Pride when the flowers blossom
ignoring the inevitability
of the petals falling away

Yes, I have failed, Janet
many times now
I have fallen and gotten up
over and over
as the weight of experience and years
piled onto my shoulders
and I chose a rocky path
or tripped on my own feet

The buds crested,
their full perfume a memory now
but there has been fruit
something to sustain me in the harvest
and hopefully, Janet
the seeds I preserve
will weather the winter
so I can share them
before I am part of the loam.

I am learning, Janet
I am learning that failure
as you said
means I am reaching farther
than the safety
of trying to be perfect
I am trying harder
to grow.

(c) RCGA 2016

This is my 200th post here.

For Janet Mentgen, RN and Healing Touch mentor, who passed in 2005.

Healing-Touch-Janet M

Crazing

The goal is for
both form and surface
to heat and cool
at the same rate
to grow and retract
in seamless
melding motion
creating a smooth bond

Life is more like raku
in application

adjustments coming
rapidly
and unexpectedly
small cracks
sending quiet pings
rippling around us
disturbing
with the sound of fracture
skins both thin and thick

(the irony is that if glaze is applied
too thickly
it enhances the crazing…
so the thicker the skin
the bigger the cracks
and there’s no escape
from that flaw
once it’s fired into place)

Rivers of seams
fractal out from our growth spurts
visual reminders
that change comes
and leaves its mark
when we grow too fast
for our skin to adjust

There is no polishing them away
and yet
we can delight in it
take deliberate pleasure
in both subtle and garish fissures
displaying our age
and experience
in such a visual way
no one can mistake them
for anything
but battle scars

No dismissive critic
drawling insults of our crazing
can understand our depth
and strength
or provenance

(c) RCGA 2016
Crazing is a spider web pattern of cracks penetrating the glaze. It is caused by tensile stresses greater than the glaze is able to withstand. ~”Ceramic Glaze Technology”

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